Lazy days of love….

If Justin and I were the same age and lived closer when we were young, we totally would have been best friends. We still find little things that we did at the same ages, just four years apart.

This weekend has been fantastic!! Saturday we went to the zoo with my friend Tabi and her son, Seth. Seth and Josie oddly enough really hit it off, now that she’s older, collecting shirtfulls of fuzzy caterpillars and trading them with each other. I hadn’t been to the zoo since they changed everything, and the improvements are great, but the monkeys still make me sad. None of their cages are wild-lifey. They are all concrete and bars. It’s super depressing. We spent three hours at the zoo, during which when we went to feed the fish, we discovered we had no quarters so I picked some of the literal hundreds of them off the ground to give to Josie to throw in. Clearly I hadn’t explained what the pellets were for adequately enough and no sooner did I pour them into her hand did she throw her head back and throw them in her mouth. I almost died laughing, which in turn made me have to simultaneously comfort her because she is that age where she is super embarrassed- poor kid. I felt so bad but it was sooooo funny. Luckily the throwing more pellets to the giant koi took her mind of it….. we then went home and took a nice nap while the girls relaxed, cooled down and watched a movie.

Today was a super lazy sunday. We spent most of the day laying in bed together, sweet kisses and tons of cuddles, with the girls storming in randomly to jump on us and giggle. Josie made all of us cards, which was awesome. This afternoon was spent over at a small neighborhood park right up the road, we brought josie’s bike and juliet walked beside her on the track that runs around the whole park and Justin and I walked behind them, holding hands and talking. We threw some discs in the field, Juliet is getting really good at it. Now we are home, Justin is grilling up some turkey burgers for him and the girls and some veggie burgers for me.

Tomorrow is my shoot with Mckenzie….oh man, I just can’t wait!

Here are some pictures!

Cleaning out my closet, and by closet, I mean body.

I’m so bad at this meditation thing. I forget, and can’t find any quiet time (which is crap, from the time the girls go to bed around 7:30-8, and when Justin gets home at 9-10 is plenty of time….I’m just distractable…) Meditation is hard. It’s hard to find a place to do it where I won’t be distracted every five seconds…. so……

I do it in the bathtub. I run a bath as hot as the fires of Mordor and lay down in it….and put my head as far under as I can and all I can hear is the tub running… and it’s so peaceful. The noise of the water running blocks out the sounds of the neighbors stomping up and down the stairs, neighbors coming and going and the wally dog pacing the floor waiting for her daddy to come home…. It’s not long, but it’s… SOMETHING.

I have a birthday party thing at a bar around the corner from my house, I plan on putting lots of toxic things in my body… and I know I’m going to feel terrible afterwards. Any time I go out and drink and smoke (I only smoke when I drink and then my sinuses are ENRAGED at me for DAYS.) I feel like I have this film over my skin, I feel gross and covered in funk. So the week after my party, during my PAID VACATION ( or, staycation, since I’m not going anywhere) I plan on doing a fast/cleanse. I feel like it’s time. I keep getting weird bumps and irritations constantly and my skin isn’t up to par….so a cleanse will be good. Get some toxins out, get centered, get some of me back. Maybe I can make myself stay off this damned computer more…. I spend way too much time on it. I should be reading, or drawing or burning, or sanding… so much I could be doing…. Nope, just play on the damned computer. Bleh….

Anyway I am looking forward to this plan, I feel really positive about it.

I keep sitting outside myself in conversations and watching things… and it people’s merciless judgements of others overwhelms me. Not just, joking fun, thats cool, but things like ‘oh I can’t believe she wore that’…. or generalizing… it’s weird how little I noticed it before…. but here’s the catch, the trick is, to not judge someone for judging someone… so hard. To look at everyone though the eyes of love if a difficult task indeed…. I’m trying so so hard.